Ironically, the very behaviors you engage in to get into a healthy, loving, committed relationship do just the opposite, leaving you in tremendous pain and feeling like you’re destined to be alone forever.
Looking back at the wreckage of your relationship history, you’ll know if it’s time to cleanse your dating palate of the chaotic and destructive patterns that have gotten you to where you are, overwhelmed by loneliness and afraid you’ll be perpetually single.
For my part, I would not get close to guys who are already attached because I do not want their girlfriends to get the wrong idea and do not want them to feel uncomfortable. Are there boundaries that should be drawn with opposite-sex friends once you're attached?
Yes, there are necessary boundaries for opposite-sex friendships in dating.
According to psychologist Gary Lewandowski in the article "Is It Okay to Have a Crush on Someone Who Isn't Your Significant Other?
" for "Science of Relationships," your judgment concerning someone's attractiveness is automatic.
But I think you may be surprised to learn when and where they should exist.
Oddly drawn to this new colleague, you find yourself passing by his desk more frequently, exchanging “hilarious” email forwards, wearing lip-gloss for the first time in years, trading your standard work pants and cardigan for flirty dresses and upping your hair game.
For example, you may say something like, "There's this really cute guy at work, but he's not as cute as you!
I've been thinking about the first time I saw you and the spark I felt. " Resist the temptation to flirt with the other man.
It's when an acknowledgement of attractiveness turns into a crush that things could get difficult.
You may not be able to stop liking another man, but you can certainly stop it from becoming an issue in your relationship. It's perfectly normal to like someone else when you have a boyfriend.