Whenever I was between boyfriends in the past, I would just enjoy life until another man came along — through work, mutual friends or our eyes meeting across a crowded room.
But when I phoned a dating agency eight months ago, everything had taken on a new sense of urgency. ‘Haven’t you found yourself a husband yet, Bridgey? But don’t look desperate — men hate that.’ I went speed-dating, online-dating, wine-tasting dating, quiz-dating and dinner-dating.
Why would they like someone who, if she can still have children, would need to have them straight away?
No, men will run a mile.’ She paused, then added: ‘Sorry, dear.’ I’ve never been someone who absolutely has to be in a relationship.
‘Men want someone who is fertile but who doesn’t want children just yet,’ she continued.
‘So they want women in their late 20s or early 30s.
Mobile geolocation dating apps are relatively new (Grindr was launched in 2009), but unlike the desktop online experience of chat rooms and forums, the mobility of the mobile app means it can be used at the office, or on the toilet, or at dinner with your parents, or even at a gay bar. The app offers access to one million men at any given moment, according to Ansley Brown, a representative for Grindr at PR Consulting, and the men are of all ages, races, and body types.
We will also feel lonely when we are abandoning ourselves, because when we are not connected with ourselves, we cannot connect with another.
Worldwide, a typical Grindr user spends approximately two hours a day on the app.
That’s more time than we spend eating, and more time than most of us spend exercising.
If we are loving and valuing ourselves, then we can thoroughly enjoy our solitude, and also connect with others when others are open to connection. Anything you do or your partner does that disconnects you from yourself and/or your partner may create loneliness.
Loneliness goes away when we connect with each other from our hearts.