I don’t remember a specific time or age when I made this decision. I always planned on waiting because in my mind, it was the right thing to do.Deciding to wait is a pretty easy choice to make when you are in your early teens, but it’s not so easy when you are thirty and still unmarried.She was content, humble, and beautiful…and I believe King Ahasuerus saw that in her, and that made her even more beautiful.If you’ve read the Book of Esther, you know that there was a plot to murder all of the Jews, but when Esther’s uncle Mordecai found out about it, he approached Esther and told her that she must approach the king about it, or all the Jews, including her, would be dead. Esther went to the king and revealed a plot to kill the Jews. She could have died by keeping silent, but Esther’s brave act saved the lives of thousands of Jews.King Ahasuerus ruled over an enormous empire, stretching from India to Ethiopia, and when he gave a banquet for the nobles and governors (Esther 1:4), the king requested the beautiful Queen Vashti, in order to show her off to his guests.She refused, so the king’s attendants suggested he see the most beautiful women in the kingdom to select a new queen for himself (Esther 2:4-5).But don’t just take your boyfriend or girlfriend’s word for it. That same study said that people who dated a very long time before marriage—like a number of years—were also less likely to stay married.
Perhaps the king could see the humility in this woman.
There are a couple of reasons why a short dating period can cause problems in marriage: Marriage is really about commitment, so the real question is whether you are willing to commit to this person for the rest of your life, and whether you can trust them when they say they’re willing to do the same. Now, sometimes you can trust them more quickly if other trustworthy people have known the person through close community for a long time, and can vouch for them.
That’s actually the preferred situation, because then you have multiple sets of eyes confirming that this person is who they appear to be.
As our courtship evolved and things started to get serious, he recognized that celibacy had to become his goal too; not just my own.
When I was young I made a decision to begin waiting for sex until marriage.